It’s a simple distinction to make—an alpha male is a confident man who’s comfortable in his own skin while a beta male ISN’T confident and tends to cause drama and create problems due to his low self-esteem.
Yet women find themselves meeting and dating beta males. Of course, the relationship doesn’t last (unless the woman suffers from low self-esteem).
I’m here to teach you the individual differences between alpha and beta as well as their intricacies so you can quickly realize alpha VS beta when you meet a man.
It’s helpful for you to learn this because I go in-depth and show you the little intricate differences between how alpha and beta operate so you can make the distinction right away and not waste your time on a beta male.
Also, if you have any questions comment below and I will answer them. I’m here to help you.
The Differences Between An Alpha Man and a Beta Man
Popular culture/society as a whole gives us incorrect everything—incorrect morals, the wrong definition of happiness, etc.
And their definition of the alpha male is no different.
Popular culture typically defines an alpha male as a physically excellent specimen—a muscular man who takes care of his body.
A UFC fighter comes to mind—a man who drips masculine energy and can beat up other guys.
Although alpha men typically keep in shape and take care of their body what makes them truly alpha is who they are as a person.
Also, popular culture shows alpha males as successful, good with women, outgoing and unfortunately, cocky.
My definition for an alpha male is a guy who is confident and comfortable in his own skin (a true rarity).
And I’m certain you’ll agree: a man who is both confident and comfortable in his own skin is often successful and good with women.
However, cocky is fake confidence and so a cocky guy is not a confident guy.
Also, some alpha males aren’t especially outgoing.
They have their own set of beliefs and some are not by nature outgoing. There’s a quote: “Speak softly and carry a big stick.” Some alpha males are a perfect example of this.
Of course, some alpha males are VERY OUTGOING—it’s their nature and they don’t hold back. In short, an alpha male can be shy by nature or very outgoing. What matters is his confidence and comfort in his own skin.
Moving on… what percentage of men are both confident and comfortable in their own skin?
I would venture roughly one percent.
Us alphas are rare.
I’ll start off by saying social alphas are rarely single. Confident women recognize them for their high self-esteem, drive and positive energy; and women show their interest to social alphas on a daily basis.
Though I know several alphas (both outgoing and shy alphas) who are currently single—I believe it’s because they’re working toward their goals and dreams and aren’t too interested in meeting a woman until they are ready (by ready I mean they’ve achieved their essential goals and are ready to make time for a significant other).
Let’s quickly outline what a beta male is; a beta guy lacks confidence. This is shown through things like jealousy, immaturity and anger issues.
*If you’re attracted to (or end up with) beta men then you must A) do some inner-work on yourself to gain confidence and/or B) you must learn to quickly differentiate the differences between an alpha and a beta when you meet a guy.
**Also, if you have a friend or family member who’s dating a beta guy have her read this article and watch the video above.
Let’s Get Specific
-An alpha male has your best interest in mind… a beta male has his best interest in mind.
This can apply to sex, what to do on a date, etc.
Of course, if you merely take, take, take from an alpha and he feels like you’re taking advantage of him he will either call you out on your behavior or he’ll distance himself from you as alphas don’t like to get walked on or taken advantage of and will not tolerate it.
-Related to the above, an alpha male is typically giving and a beta male likes to take.
There is a distinction I must make: some beta males are spineless wuss-bags who attempt to buy a woman’s affection with dinners and gifts.
The difference between a giving alpha and a giving beta is a beta is trying to manipulate the woman with dinner/gifts so she likes him; the beta wants a set outcome (for the woman to like him as much as he likes her) while an alpha gives because he wants to—not because he feels he HAS TO.
The alpha doesn’t expect anything in return; he does nice things simply to make the other person feel good.
-Alphas treat everyone the same—no matter who they are.
If an alpha goes out to dinner he treats the waiter with the same respect as he treats the town mayor.
Some betas are friendly to everyone (these betas merely lack confidence) while other betas are rude to waiters, janitors, etc. because they feel these workers are somehow ‘beneath them’ and don’t matter because they can’t help the beta in any way.
I have lost count toward the amount of women who have told me they lost attraction for a guy when he treated a waiter/server poorly. It’s a fairly common occurrence. And it’s a huge red-flag when it comes to distinguishing beta guys from possible alpha guys.
-Alphas can laugh at themselves—betas can’t
*There’s a distinction here as well. Some betas are very self-depreciating—meaning they make fun of or are harsh on themselves. The difference is when an alpha laughs at himself he’s typically smiling about it and when a beta self-depreciates he’s not smiling—he looks downright critical or unhappy.
There’s a different energy to each.
-Even if they’re single, alphas are still happy
An alpha male isn’t defined by a relationship—he’s defined by his beliefs. A beta male is typically unhappy and he strives to have a girlfriend in hopes it will somehow ‘complete him’ and make him happy.
Am alpha male typically lives a full, content life where he’s working toward achieve his goals. He doesn’t feel the need to force or seek out a relationship and he realizes the extreme error in settling with a woman who isn’t right for him.
Of course, this attitude the alpha male possesses tends to keep him from being single because women are attracted to a confident man who loves himself, enjoys life, has goals and works towards what he wants.
-Alpha males don’t take things personally
Often, we as people come across unhappy individuals who lash out against us.
For example, let’s say you’re driving down the street (and aren’t in the passing lane) and another car is riding your car’s bumper; the driver might pass you and flick you the middle finger merely because you were driving the speed limit….
Or perhaps you’re at a concert and some unruly people are crashing into one another as they mosh and one of them bumps you, causing you to fall against the concertgoer next to you who in turn screams at you….
Neither of these incidents are your fault. If you’re not driving in the passing lane then the other car is free to use the passing lane to pass you and you’re not in the wrong. And if someone bumps into you and you fall against somebody else you’re innocent of that as well.
Yet the following two scenarios have perhaps happened to you.
So how does this relate to alphas and betas?
An alpha isn’t going to let someone’s crappy mood or rude behavior ruin their day because they don’t know the other person and don’t take it personally.
A beta will take such behavior as a personal attack and perhaps will lash out similarly. Also, a beta will tend to harp on the incident, unable to just ‘let it go’ as he lets his emotions get the best of him.
Random thought: when someone honks at me in traffic (for no good reason) I like to give him or her a huge ‘shit-eating grin’. Why? Because it amuses me and it diffuses the situation. When another person sees they have no power over you they tend to stop acting like a creep and instead give respect.
So if you’re around a man who takes things personally, gets frustrated and lets his mood be dictated by others then he’s a beta.
-Alphas aren’t self-destructive
The vast majority of alpha males are always in control of themselves. This includes not getting drunk (if it happens it’s rare), not taking drugs, and they certainly aren’t participating in dangerous behavior such as body mutilation or punching their fists through walls.
An alpha male loves and respects his body and won’t purposely harm it. Also, an alpha tends to have self-control.
Guys who use drugs and/or alcohol in excess do so to numb the pain of something they can’t handle.
It’s funny—in my early-to mid-twenties I used to go out multiple times a week and get drunk. I look back on it and although it was fun at the time I have no clue why I chose to go out and drunk.
I think part of it was I got bored being in bars while sober and it’s more fun to be around drunk people while drunk.
I haven’t been intoxicated in almost five years—I still have a drink here and there but I simply don’t even want to be around drunk people—they’re annoying to me. It’s immature. Yet popular culture glorifies drinking and drugs and the masses of lemmings are ‘drinking it up’ so to speak.
-Alphas aren’t afraid to fail
Alphas aren’t afraid to fail because they see failure as a learning experience.
I used to be afraid of failure. So much, in fact, that I didn’t even try to succeed. I’d have a great idea and I’d let it sit on the shelf because—I thought—chances are I’ll fail so why even try?
Failure is another thing popular culture has wrong. Popular culture believes when a person fails at something it somehow makes them a failure. And that’s a crock of crud.
Failure is so vital because it’s how we learn.
Think about it.
If we as babies quit trying to walk because it was complicated and it hurt when we fell down… where would we be?
Failure teaches lessons. Failure should be glorified (as long as one learns from their failures and doesn’t keep making the same mistakes over and over again).
Failing doesn’t make a person a failure—simply not trying or giving up too soon makes them a failure.
A man who has the guts to keep trying should be commended and not insulted.
Alpha males aren’t afraid to fail. A man who is afraid of failure simply doesn’t believe in himself.
Decent women aren’t attracted to a successful man because of his money… rather because of the qualities he possesses that made him that money.
You want a man who believes in himself.
Who has guts.
Who has passion.
Who goes after what he wants.
That’s sexy. It’s masculine.
This is why women find successful men to be so attractive. Because he’s not afraid, he’s motivated and he’s got goals. He bets on himself.
These are the differences between an alpha male and a beta male. I’m sure there are others that come to mind—feel free to add them in the comments section as we can continue the discussion there.
Thank you so much for reading this blog article and I sincerely hope it helped you as I’m here to assist you in finding the ideal man for you. Again, if you have any questions or comments please use the comment box below.
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